Last Friday, I went for a concert at the Accra Sports Stadium (Tigo Unplugged) which didn’t close until after 3:00am Saturday. It was passed 4:00am when I finally got home and eventually fell into bed. I had barely 4hours of sleep before I was up again preparing to go to work. Knowing me, 4hours is too little a time for me to have a good rest and so I knew from when I woke up that I had to do something or else I was definitely going to have a bad day at work. And so after taking my bath and dressing up, it was time for breakfast. Usually I prefer heavy meals (waakye, Banku, Jollof rice) for breakfast especially when I have to go to work but on this occasion, I opted for coffee for that I presume will help keep me awake since I didn’t get enough sleep the previous night.
On my way to work, I couldn’t stop blaming myself for mistakenly dropping and breaking the mug I used in drinking the coffee after I was done drinking and was going to wash it. It wasn’t as if the mug was too unique or too expensive for me to replace, but it was special and of some sentimental value to me. After seven years of using something you begin to develop some special attachment to it, thus losing it suddenly is going to be difficult to handle. At work I couldn’t stop thinking about how well the mug has served me all this years and if I could ever find a replacement for it. On my way back home, I bought super glue (original) with which I used to piece every little bit of the mug together. It was almost perfect when I was done with it, but it was never the same again.
It felt different when I used it for tea this morning. What I am feeling may be psychological, but physically it looked different too. No matter how hard I tried convincing myself that it was the same mug I had used for all this years, I still felt there was something different about it. And rightly so, there was something wrong with it.., it was broken, and how do I fix that? I need to replace it…
Now, that’s what happens in real life and in relationships… Like an egg, a glass or a ceramic mug, the heart is a very fragile organ. No matter how good you are at piecing together a broken glass or mug, you will never be able to return it to its original state. You might be content with using it like that after it has been seemingly fixed, but that will be only until it starts leaking or when a friend comments on how bad looking your once beautiful glass/mug is, then you’ll begin to feel bad for having allowed things to have gone this bad.
So what do you do when your heart is broken?
Simple! Replace it! I have heard counselors and relationship experts argue that replacing a loved one soon after your heart is broken is a wrong move because, you might fall in the wrong hands in your quest to find happiness.., now in as much as I agree to some extent to this theory, I must say that it is not entirely true. Rather, it is in times like this that you see clearly those who really care about you and those who are just faking it. Also, in times like this, you need people to talk to, to share your problem with, shoulders to cry on, people to make you laugh so you can forget your pains and right-thinking minds to advice and counsel you. How can you stay alone in times like this?
Using the mug as an example, you can’t stop drinking tea just because you broke your favourite mug.., the right thing to do will be to replace it with another one (a plastic cup maybe) until you find one that you are more comfortable with. Who knows? Maybe you might end up falling in love with the plastic cup because that might end up serving you better in your time of need. Well-meaning friends, family members, work or school mates are some of the people to consider when replacing a broken heart because they are people you might already know. Making new friends (with caution) in times like this too is not a bad idea. The right time to go out and socialize is when you are heartbroken and alone. It helps with the thinking and loneliness.
Love is not as complicated as we see it. It’s just about knowing what you want and how far you are ready to go to get what you want. It’s also about how ready you are to let go when things are not going in your favour. What makes it hurt more when we are heartbroken is our unwillingness to let go… the first step toward healing a broken heart is letting go. But to FIX IT, you have to RELACE IT!