1. Play dead. Before you laugh and say “that won’t work” have you actually tried it? Seriously, fall down and don’t move. Even if she yells your name or pokes at you with her high heel. Just pretend like it is nap time.
2. Start to pray. I normally look at them and indicate they are supposed to join in… and keep shooting astonished looks that they aren’t.
3. Keep saying “I love you” till they stop talking. It will work. Have faith.
4. Counter everything they say with a bad adage about some sport they hate. Women absolutely hate when we do sports analogies and it is enjoyable to see them squirm.
5. Yell “That’s right I forgot to do that thing!” and run out the door… you may want to wait a few hours before returning. Possibly with some flowers.
6. Tell her suddenly that Bill has died. When Bill shows up to your house the next day fall to your knees and cry “Lord! It’s a miracle!”
7. Keep turning the argument to her anger issues. Even if she doesn’t have any. It makes them rethink themselves and they end up getting frustrated and dropping the topic.
8. If you are married or dating an Asian woman yell out “Godzilla” and use those few seconds wisely.
9. If arguing while eating suddenly “choke” on a chicken bone and allow her to be the hero. No one wants to argue when they are in hero mode.
10. When an argument is about to start in bed I use two options. I either fart and allow the humor of the moment to dissolve the tension in the atmosphere OR I start audible snoring until she gets the picture.
Note: I am not responsible for any possible… repercussions of following my relationship advice…
– By: Opinionated Man