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Endurance: The lesson my late father taught me.



My old boy and I didn’t talk much when I was growing up. I used to think it was because I was stubborn as a little boy. He had a strict military way of disciplining us when we go wayward and being the stubborn one amongst my siblings meant I was the one who was mostly at the receiving end of the rod he never spared. It was after I completed Senior Secondary School that he began opening up to me.

We discussed a lot afterwards, from his time in the military, to religion, to politics, to relationships and family and to life in general. Initially, it felt uncomfortable but not long before I started enjoying and looking forward to our daily conversations. I learnt a lot about him and from him, I tapped greatly into his wisdom. His advice and experiences helped to shape me into what I am today., validating the old adage that says, “Opanyin wo fie a, Oye”.

Its one of these discussions I caught myself reminiscing about this morning that I thought I should share with you.

…At what age do you want to marry…? I was only 21 when my dad asked me this question. I was amused at his question because not only was I too young to start thinking about marriage, but I was the last of many children., direct siblings and steps, so why me at this age? He insisted I gave him a time frame so I said 31yrs. He asked why and I explained that 10yrs was enough time for me to have completed school, found a job and be ready to marry and start a family.

He smiled, paused then said, “10yrs is not enough to teach you this lesson, but as smart as you are, I pray you are able to learn this lesson before you marry”.

“In marriage, there are three stages.,
1. Enjoyment
2. Endurance
3. Enjoyment.

You are a smart kid, 10yrs should be enough for you to figure it out he said…”

Its been 13yrs since I had this discussion with my old man. It took me 12yrs to fully understand the wisdom he was trying to teach me.

I pray you too are able to figure it out before you finally settle down. Cheers!